I woke on the morning of my birthday, hell bent, hair wet
My task was to end the game, cut the cord, pay the final check
And I would do it with words, your words, their words, sharp as a scalpel
My task was to end the game, cut the cord, pay the final check
And I would do it with words, your words, their words, sharp as a scalpel
I sat at my desk and inked black, hell sent, jaw set
The reds flowed and torturous yellows, sharp sword, slashing neck
I was doing it with grace, your face, their face, nice and simple
When the end finally neared, hells rent, good bet
My body so much pulp, say the word, no safety net
I was letting all go, your command, their command, smiles so awful
The reds flowed and torturous yellows, sharp sword, slashing neck
I was doing it with grace, your face, their face, nice and simple
When the end finally neared, hells rent, good bet
My body so much pulp, say the word, no safety net
I was letting all go, your command, their command, smiles so awful
The last you will hear from me…immortal
Ooh, I really enjoyed the rhythm and tone — "hell bent, hair wet"/"hell sent, jaw set" is particularly very cool. The words can be a powerful means to realize both mortality as well as immortality. As this means of death convey, it is certainly doing something even if it's all about letting go.
ReplyDeleteThank you!!! and thanks for the prompt, it helped get me writing today. Loved it!!
DeleteGood rhythm in this. I like the line "hell bent, hair wet". A friend of mine committed suicide last June. He meant business. He didn't leave a letter, jus hung himself.
ReplyDeleteThank you!!!! I have a hard time with those realizations, but they happen just the same, sorry for the loss.
DeleteWhoa, this packs a punch. "The last you will hear from me......immortal." Yes, to the immortal. But I hope not the last we hear from you. I have missed reading you. Lovely to see you here.
ReplyDeleteI'm not going anywhere just yet...lol. thanks so much Sherry, great to hear from you!!!
DeleteThis really has a powerful edge to it! Poetry is immortal.
ReplyDeleteThank you!!!
DeleteSlashing...dashing...a poem that Zorro would appreciate.
ReplyDeleteLol...thanks man!
DeleteYes, do it with words. Yours, as sharp as a scalpel.
ReplyDeleteGood.
Appreciate the kind words!! Thanks!
DeleteWell, I don't want this to be the last I hear from you. I love this, kill a pen, kill a poet.
ReplyDeleteIt wont be the last I don't think...Thanks Susie!!!
DeleteThere’s great rhythm and rhyme in this poem and it’s full of attitude!
ReplyDeleteI got attitude!!! lol...thanks!
DeleteSuccessfully horrifying.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteThere is an undeniable energy, a fire and wave of emotion coursing through this poem. The inclusion of " hell bent, hair wet," and "The reds flowed and torturous yellows, sharp sword," speaks volumes about the struggle between mind and heart .. sometimes it take everything we have got just to face another day, another meal and frivolities of those who surround us, but we must.. if not to breathe in restricted air of society then to pen down how we feel about it. Rebel if we must.
ReplyDeleteI am so honored you chose to share this poem with us!❤️
I am honored you enjoyed it...thanks so much!!
DeleteYears ago I wrote a poem about one of my favourite paintings -Titian's A Man with Quilted sleeves. It is in the National Gallery in London. I remember you left a comment saying you looked like this guy. I think this is a very good reason for you hanging about. Not everyone looks like a Titian oil painting:) Good to see you back again.
ReplyDeleteI remember that...not sure if I remember whether I really liked it or was hedging my bets...lol. Thanks!
DeleteThe pace is frenetic, Corey! How I feel on any given day, trying to do too much in too little time. I have even started talking faster.
ReplyDelete
DeleteDon't talk too fast SA, we might start taking you as a hustler...thank you my friend!!
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ReplyDeleteThere is so much anger in this... the imagery of words as cutting blades... and how they end up immortal...
ReplyDeleteKiller use of repetition. I like the intensity and physicality of the words.
ReplyDeleteThe first and last lines are especially strong. Excellent piece.
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