By the time
the words went from lip to ear
It was much
too late to gather the dogsIf it were a whisper or an urging, fine, but….
Your thin lips and constant evangelizing sicken
Soul
SpittingSnap, snap
The ghosts come
in clear and concise
And crawl my
thoughts like zombie miceThe greatest thing I’ll ever do
Is hold my breath and catch a clue
Worth
LessSnap, Snap
One more
dinner in the company of strangers
Parents with
more important nothing on their mindsMy day? Jesus loves me this I know….
Green beans do not pair well with angst
Eating
GlassSnap, Snap
The thoughts
at night are clean and crisp
And speak
the truth without a lispI listen hard and think I hear
The reality that you hold so dear
Over
OutSnap, Snap
I'm so glad you came out to play! Your response to the prompt is visceral, the litany of one who feels emotionally unable to connect or even make sense of what connecting is all about. It must be a terrifying reality, where thoughts are zombie mice (love that) and parents are strangers, but I fear it is becoming the norm. Thank you for stepping up to the plate and delivering!
ReplyDeleteI love those separating stanzas - the way they add to the overall feeling of this piece. For me, the zombie mice were an awesome visual! Great write, Hero!
ReplyDeleteLove this....especially the first one. I think we have shared the same thought. Oh and I love "zombie mice."
ReplyDeleteGot to love the important nothing and the zombie mice! I remember this feeling of being trapped in my head when i was a teenager, that nobody understood me, not even me.
ReplyDeleteCatblossom wants to know if she can come over and babysit the zombie mice. She also wants to know how attached to them you are and if you would really even miss them. She awaits your reply!
Its a play date.....and since they creep me out, Catblossom can have at it. I will put them in the bathtub, might make a good youtube channel...lol.
Delete"Green beans do not pair well with angst" One or the other has to go. Truly an amazing poem. It occurs to me that as I get older, the easier this style is to understand. Who knows? Writing from what we know may sound just like this in the future, but maybe with a little less humor.
ReplyDeletelove that snap. and crunch, too ~
ReplyDeletelove.
ReplyDeletei tried to be you in my response to this one. but you, of course, broke the mold.
xo
love.
ReplyDeletei tried to be you in my response to this one. but you, of course, broke the mold.
xo
I agree with FB--this reminds me strongly of living with my family as a young adult(though of course, it could be applied to so many social situations, from work to love)--the constant nagging and forcing and evangelicizing of what I was supposed to be; eating broken glass is the perfect analogy. Always good to see you out and about Corey, and your writing, as always, is a real satisfaction to read.
ReplyDeleteSnap, crackle and pop! This was a good one!
ReplyDeleteAfter reading the poem, the title made me smirk a bit. It made me wonder did he know me at fifteen? That snapping rhythm of every thought, the ability (and annoyance) of always thinking about 40 things at once, about caring about things other couldn't quite see or caring not about the things they believed so important. "Snap, snap," indeed!
ReplyDeleteThis seemed to carry a great weight of sadness and some deserved bitterness--the parents with such important nothings, the eating in the company of strangers, and the being left eating glass of a kind--whether it is mirrors or regret or survival or so many different sharp things one must manage to keep on some times. The juxtaposition of the rhyming sections and the snaps worked very well. Thanks much, Corey. k.
ReplyDeleteHey, I enjoyed revisiting this. I like green beans, but I am picturing this as the canned kind and also picturing a kind of overcoming of rejection and other kinds of limits, and that type of transcendence often takes some snapping. Thanks, and thanks for your super cool challenge on Real Toads. k.
ReplyDeletei really loved this...so many good pieces that could be snapshots taken from the lives of almost anyone...holding your breath and catching a clue, the dinner with strangers....a page out of a day in the life of me. awesome work here!
ReplyDeletestacy lynn mar
http://warningthestars.blogspot.com/
Hey Corey--I tend to think angst goes with everything, even green beans. (And I love green beans, so would hate to pair them with something painful!) But there it is.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your great prompts. IAnd poems!) I know you must be super busy so appreciate your visits. K.