Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Tribble Hill

Lift bastards through the naked light
To tuck them in on Christmas night
Teach them the ways of gentle past
And hope the noble die is cast
Sing songs of crimson hope and rage
He’ll be the one to turn the page
And show this lot who sings his plan
Grant evermore to every man

Resonate with Godhead
Or
Still my blighted mind

Coax evermore to sip the wrong
Notes floating on a darker song
Evermore would no longer  thrive
Crows hunt and in the darkness dive
And take from man his gilded morn
Robbing promises duly sworn
Til’ she sees all time standing still
And turns the tides on Tribble Hill

18 comments:

  1. Coax evermore to sip the wrong
    Notes floating on a darker song...

    Ahh...That old thing called Temptation :)

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  2. I agree, then crows hunt and in the darkness dives~
    Wow, such great imagery capturing the thoughts of forbidden ventures~
    I have to read it again! :D

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  3. Wow...now that is a transition!

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  4. This is beautifully crafted - the rhyme, and the layout, work well to create the tripartite nature of your triptych. I love the subtle references to Poe, and the whole has an eerie mysticism about it which is unsettling. You dropped this like it was hot!

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  5. I like the contrasting images...and the middle verse is a good transition sentence (I recall there is form for this).

    I specially like:

    Coax evermore to sip the wrong
    Notes floating on a darker song

    I enjoy your enthusiastic comments in my blog ~ Much appreciated ~

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  6. I like time standing still, and the crows, and and and...

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    1. Just honing my skills for friday. Sitting against the wall in the hallway, Diet Dr. Pepper on one side, tequila on the other waiting for my chance, not sure which one I will need......opportunities to make a first impression come once in a lifetime and I blew mine. But....I am confident I can rebound...its what i do. When the clock strikes midnight...I won't be found sipping rang tang and watching show tunes (maybe), no, I will be right here waiting to be challenged. I am alive..........

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  7. "Sing songs of crimson hope and rage"

    Not sure I would have thought of linking those two emotions together, but it works so well! This is such a solid poem, love it!

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  8. I love the rhythm and the imagery in this poem!
    Love these lines:

    " Crows hunt and in the darkness dive
    And take from man his gilded morn
    Robbing promises duly sworn"

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  9. this tritych reminds me of a pogues song, in the best way possible: the anger, the enlightenment, the resignation. well done and viva la

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    1. So IG...the other day there was a challenge of one form or another to act like you are talking to another favorite poet through a poem...or something like that, can't exactly remember. I chose you and I am not sure if you saw it or not. Either 1. you did and are pissed or somewhat frustrated with the crassness of my attempt 2. You did an have had to endure several rounds of therapy because of it or 3. You haven't read it. Its called Inspector General.....one in a long line of tributes...and no...I am not stalking you....unless you want me to.

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  10. This is rather Poe-like, with the darkness running through it - love the short transition in the middle - that is clever. I especially love the last two lines. Wowzers, kiddo! This one sizzles. Love the rhythm of it.

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  11. Really like the way you've mirror-imaged and inverted here, and made the second 'panel' of the triptych a bridge between two opposites. My mind interpreted this politically and also flashed back to an old Star Trek episode, where lemming-like tribbles smothered the Enterprise--but that's probably just me. Great images and language in this one.

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  12. I keep thinking I've found the best part, then the next part seems like the best part. So well put, so well done. I enjoyed this.
    K

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  13. Thanks for your kind comments on my moon poems, kiddo......I so appreciate it!

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  14. it's all good until she sees time standing still, then watch out, all hell breaks loose. you asked for it.

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  15. Such a great opening, and wonderful strident rhythm. (Great close too, but I found the beginning especially effective.) Dark hymn. K.

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