Even
the most devout of God's army
Have
a few blemishes on their otherwise exceptional souls
Taking
that hand, that idea, that hair-brained scheme
Is
sure to soften a heart set in its ways and retool tempered
fundamentals
Can
I borrow your fleeting thoughts, even in their infant stages
They
make mine look like runny, orange jello, unset, gritty
I
promise to return them whole after using it to set my timing belt
Stunning
are the pictures you paint with three words and a handful of hope
This
stage is one for all the players preening and flaunting
But
several stand out, decked in sequined finery and hockey masks
It
doesn't make their destiny any more certain than your stagehand
existence
Your
treatment of the other soul is what will matter, gently cradling
nature
Your
smile wont get you into these gates of heaven
They
were built in your honor..... and on your back
You
have flushed out old thinking, trimmed it with new ornaments
And
created a thought process that is very hard to deny
For
those who still have love in their hearts
©
2011 Crowley
love this... "three words and a handful of hope"
ReplyDelete... 'can I borrow your fleeting thoughts, even in their infant stages' ~~ love where you took me!
ReplyDeleteMy fave stanza is the one beginning: Can I borrow your fleeting thoughts. You poems always make me think, make me unravel the imagery, make me wonder how you combine the words 'jello' and 'griy' and make it work.
ReplyDeleteOuch! An unsteady, you take this hand, yeah, but only to change it, to make it walk its talk. And I agree, tho you put it much more beautifully: "Taking that hand, that idea, that air-brained scheme / Is sure to soften a heart set in its ways and retool tempered fundamentals" . . . . "For those who still have love in their hearts." I am wary lest it is I who am changed by the joining of hands. And so, again, I and "they" are fundamentally the same whether writer, stagehand, actor, audience . . . . I have to keep this poem. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI am grammatically confused by "I promise to return it . . ." Should "it" be "them"?
yep, the second stanza was the one for me. very good
ReplyDeletea passionate confessional, reminds me of a Ronan Keating song. beautiful, sensitive and serene.
ReplyDelete"...for those who still have love in their hearts"....really says it all. Lovely!
ReplyDeleteFleeting thoughts, orange jello, preening and flaunting --- and all put together so well! A wealth of unique imagery and a sensitive, thoughtful ending. Wow.
ReplyDeleteLots of dueling images in this, yet in the end they fight it out nicely--I'm fond of the orange jello and the gates of heaven built on my back(well it feels like it--something heavy I am in no position to be able to see, anyway) and the sense that love creates a paradigm, a set of responses once inhaled that change everything. Love the poem, love the music on the sidebar--great background guitar and voice to read poetry to.
ReplyDeleteSmart, this one. I love "Your treatment of the other soul is what will matter, gently cradling nature."
ReplyDeleteA fascinating write, Corey. I like it, a lot.
ReplyDeleteK
Love this...I have been preached at so many times and haven't seen love. May we treat other souls with care. Great work!
ReplyDeleteCan I borrow your fleeting thoughts, even in their infant stages
ReplyDeleteThey make mine look like runny, orange jello, unset, gritty
I stand and applaud those lines. You do such a good job with a humble narrator!!
This piece feels like a meditation in reverse, beginning with blazing insight and ending with query of sorts. This piece is well tempered, by which I mean even in it's tone and it flows smoothly all the way into those last memorable lines. If I took this poem to breakfast, it would insist I order the most expensive pancakes (pineapple upside down), a side of bacon, and it would pay the bill: in essence, great for the soul and gives the mind a bit of comfort. Thanks for posting!
"Your treatment of the other soul
ReplyDeleteis what will matter, gently cradling nature"
This provokes powerful and deep thoughts! Nature rewards those who care. Great write Heroto!
Hank
"You have flushed out old thinking, trimmed it with new ornaments" - really loved that line! And...we all have to continue to keep that love in our hearts! I enjoyed this.
ReplyDeleteGreat lines, love the jello reference and the trimmed with new ornaments,but my favorite is
ReplyDelete"three words and a handful of hope"!
Wonderful to read, deep and yet the message is clear!
Loved it~
I adore this, and it's my new Corey favorite. Runny orange jello? Get out, lol. I especially like that final quatrain.
ReplyDeleteStrong and visual all the way from top to bottom, and the first stanza is a killer.
ReplyDeletethe first two stanzas are what i call classic corey. they're quick out of the gate, wickedly sharp, with strong flashes of unexpected imagery that leave the reader off-balance and searching for his feet.
ReplyDeletei'd like to highlight though, these words from the later section,
'Your smile wont get you into these gates of heaven
They were built in your honor..... and on your back'
because you've done some theological dub-stepping in this, but those words pin it down and open this up to a whole new kind of philosophical understanding.
look at you, trying to sneak in the deep stuff, backhanded sleight of hand poet that you are.