Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Note to Self

For the Toads Wednesday Challenge about those voices in your head.....mine are my worst enemy bar none. If I could kill them I would....literally.

You've hated me for three weeks straight
Calling attention to my less than manly ways
Telling me the pedestals I've crafted are flawed
And that no one could love what I am

I changed the show
Cut the Ties
Promised change by next moonrise
Washed the mind
With soap and lye
Pulled the splinters from my tired eyes

You've scoffed my craft and beat me down, inattentive
Embarrassed I turn to others for support
But thats when you do your best work, wrecking
Building fences of doubt and despair from wrought iron rails

I ate the crow
Shit the bed
Planted ragweed in my head
Lost the key
Can't find the door
Shopped a codependent grocery store

You've made me into a gushing idiot when no one cares
Tracing my missteps with amazing accuracy, tedious
Playing movies of things that haven't happened, high definition
Torturing my sleep with depressed relationship rhetoric

I flipped the switch
Pulled a knife
Rolled your head and took your life
Yelled my name
Attached my balls
Bludgeoned down your fucking paper walls

I want my life back


  1. What can I say...these voices are always part of us, the doubts, torturing our sleep, missteps ~

    If given another chance, we always think we can do better ~ Great voice here Corey ~

  2. This is intense, Corey. I am familiar with this kind of person. With them you can never win, never redeem yourself. Worst thing is "telling me .....that no one could love what I am." Really a strong write!

  3. A little too violent for my taste, my dear, but I get the feeling and I followed your creative images gleefully until the surprising obscenity and bloody end.

  4. Wow, intense is right, and I was struck by the same lines as Mary. Powerful writing.

  5. When the voices are in your own head, that's brutal. I'm all for the rage here; throw the bastards out.

  6. Rowley, only you would have an internal monologue with two voices. I rather was intrigued by the loosely wired babbly tone of the second. It captured sing-song and then when paired with the first made a strong counter point. This was clever, but you always are. This evoked something greater on the second reading as I began to grasp more the connection between the two voices, one loosely menacing, the other clawing for sound might. Great writing!!!!

  7. Nothing short of glorious!
    and giving me just a touch of remorse :-)

  8. All I can say is glad I'm not the only one--though I'd never wish those voices on my worst enemy(well, unless it was a politician!) but especially on someone as original and gifted as you, Corey. There's nothing harder to shake than the inner critic, the eternal second-guesser, backseat driver, after-the-fact accuser...where were you when your so-called freaking "voice of reason" could have done some good then? No, it's always the sniping, the undercutting, the salt in old wounds to keep them raw. A fine poem, and excellent response to the prompt.

  9. but must one bludgeon a paper wall? i guess those voices inside our heads cannot be counted on for logic. or not to go for broke with the way-over-the-top overkill. shhh now, baby, have a cup of tea.

  10. Such agony to have those voices in your head. Hope you can kill those voices because they really have no busy making you doubt yourself. I'm sure that epic battle will make for great poetry.

  11. I love "codependent grocery store," Corey. Great stuff, this monologue. I know about inner voices, although mine died down, then died, sometime around my 60th birthday, thank goodness.