I celebrate myself, and sing myself,
And what I assume you shall assume,
For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.
And what I assume you shall assume,
For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.
I ate at your brasserie for a month and a day
Wisdom and milk chocolate pancakes with boysenberry
You insisted I knew better and ran your fingers through my hair
Sharing thoughts daily on how to save the world
Over wine and the thinnest slices of carpaccio
I sucked in your available soul and crooned new day songs
When night would fall you would dance in that nightgown
And I would stare with a teenage boy’s delight at the undulations
And sneak a kiss if only in my dreams and taste the faintest of cherry
Grant me one wish and I promise not to waste it on myself
I will carry your vision to the borders of the known world
And tell the winds of my other self, browning in the Arizona sun
The first stanza is Uncle Walt's Song of Myself....one of my favorite stanzas of all time.
Oh wow, wow, wow!! This is as good as it gets, any day of the week. A song of self as it is realized in the unselfish love of another. Pretty damn hot stuff, my friend.
ReplyDeleteI love the first line of the last stanza. Fabulous!
ReplyDeleteK
This is a beautiful poem launched from the Whitman first verse. The second last stanza is my favorite. So sensitive, visual, and sensual!
ReplyDeleteI like that next to last line. Yup. And Whitman is always a fine choice.
ReplyDeletePS--Coal thanks you for the visits.
that piece is eerily specific...I suspect there is a Ms. out there who can recognize your every syllable and meet them with a blush. I love the bit about dancing in a "night gown" note: not lingerie or a nighty, but you used the word night gown, which every woman knows is a thread bare long t-shirt that she cannot remember inheriting, or a long piece of pajama that she does not feel is flattering to her hips or torso but is so comfortable she can dance in freely. All in all, great posting here Rowley.
ReplyDeleteGrant me one wish and I promise not to waste it on myself ...is such a brilliant line, it makes me poem jealous.
Gotta love Whitman! You really rose to the occasion on this, so well written. My favorite line has to be "I sucked in your available soul and crooned new day songs" Just amazing!
ReplyDeleteGo ahead and croon those new day songs, as you so beautifully phrased it! This is so amazing. Whitman would be impressed. He never thought of these images. You did, and I am so glad.
ReplyDeleteA whimsical, musical write. To find a love that remains so vivid in ones memory is such a treasure.
ReplyDeleteLovely imagery, lovely write.
Beautiful. I especially love "I will carry your vision...." Great writing!
ReplyDeleteoh I like what you did here! as noted it is quite specific - captured even! and so many great lines, but of course the one that gets me is "Sharing thoughts daily on how to save the world over wine" - it says so much and so little at the same time and I secretly hate you for it haha nice work!
ReplyDelete...and tell the winds of my other self..beautiful and vivid poem.
ReplyDeleteThe last verse is a powerful close but the gritty images here speak to me:
ReplyDeleteI ate at your brasserie for a month and a day
Wisdom and milk chocolate pancakes with boysenberry
You insisted I knew better and ran your fingers through my hair
Great writing ~
Great write Herotomost! Such powerful words and great imagery!
ReplyDeleteHank
I love this...a memory set to verse.. I too wonder if a certain lady would recognize herself in this. Nice work!
ReplyDeleteThe piece is nicely visual, and the final stanza adds a very fine valedictory touch.
ReplyDeleteI could ramble on about the many things this made me feel, but I shall keep my comment short and say that it made me smile. It is 4 in the morning where I'm from, and this is a wonderful start to my day. :)
ReplyDeleteExcellent, C. whitman meets the west, on any old night when there is a long glad history of romance and the mingling of atoms. the story in this is rich, and the last stanza... hard to admit to anything living up to whitman, but that one is golden.
ReplyDelete