Her hair smelled like the Wyoming sunshine
He asked her where she'd been
Through her new found lover's aura
She whispered, "just out"
He hung his head in deep despair
Wondering what kind of man could let her go
She placed her hand on the back of his neck
She whispered, "we're fine"
She took him ever so lightly
To a place behind the alfalfa fields,
Next to the cottonwood stump
Beneath the lilac bush
There, in the hollow of a furled elm leaf
Existed an entire world, albeit small
Everything a world should have, existed there
And primarily love
She smiled at him and held his hand
And watched as the world, her world, ebbed and flowed
And then, when it was time to go
She whispered, "pure joy"
The next week after the last of the cameras had left
The little world was dead and gone
Crushed beneath the big worlds prying eyes, he invited
She whispered, "I'll die"
There are places in this world
That exist for the hearts of the worthy
There are places in this world
That are not meant for you
I think what makes this piece so touching are the phrases in direct speech. They bring the character to life. I also get the sense of an untold story behind the glimpse you have given us here, of something forbidden or broken between these two people.
ReplyDeleteYes, they always have a fence around them, saying no hedgewitches allowed, I've noticed. You do share some of it with us here, though, let us trespassers see what that world might be, how beautiful, even from the outside. Really touched me with this one, Corey, and as Kerry notes, this seems part of a longer tale, a more intricate dance as well.
ReplyDeletethis makes for a tragic Notting Hill...where the boy and the girl remain separated and the fairy tales gives way to love's labours lost.the power to evoke so much through so little is unique and wonderful.
ReplyDeleteI love her whispered utterances, and, especially "there are places in this world not meant for you." This seems to be a song of heartbreak. Beautifully done.
ReplyDeletewhen the cameras leave, they no longer exist? there's a statement about modern life.
ReplyDeleteIt's not only a wonderful vignette--the final stanza is just pitch-perfect.
ReplyDeleteLast stanza one word kewl
ReplyDeletea different voice from you here! I particularly liked the last few stanzas, the little world's discovery and demise and the romance echoing around it - great stuff Corey!!
ReplyDelete"There, in the hollow of a furled elm leaf
ReplyDeleteExisted an entire world"...this really caught my attention, so lovely, the poem has a weighty tenderness.
Perhaps what makes her so desirable, so attractive, is the surety with which she knows herself and her own needs...
ReplyDeleteBrilliant write, like a clip for a cinematic love story.
http://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2012/06/18/tucson-summer/
Love her hand on his neck...this is so good!
ReplyDeleteI feel there is something more here as I am left wondering at their background and journey ~
ReplyDeleteBut the last stanza is definitely heart tugging ~ Enjoyed the visit Corey ~
I love the details, just enough for us to focus, yet the background remains blurred~
ReplyDeleteIt holds it's charm so we can put ourselves there! A beautiful write!
You are another person who sees through a macro lens! LOL
ReplyDelete